Thanksgiving Brings Out the Monsters — Here’s How to Survive Them.
Let’s be honest — Thanksgiving stress is real, especially for trauma survivors who carry old wounds, invisible bruises, and memories that hit harder when the rest of the world is celebrating.
For a lot of people, the holiday doesn’t feel warm or grateful at all. It feels like a day that drags up holiday triggers, family tension, grief, loneliness, and all the monsters you’ve spent the rest of the year trying to silence.
If you’re walking into this holiday with Thanksgiving anxiety, emotional overwhelm, or the ache of people who hurt you, abandoned you, or dismissed you — you’re not failing.
You’re reacting to history.
And if Thanksgiving brings out the monsters for you, you are absolutely not alone.
Below is a raw, honest guide on how to survive Thanksgiving when you're not okay, grounded in real tools, nervous system support, and trauma-informed care.
Why Thanksgiving Brings Out Old Wounds and Holiday Triggers
The truth is simple: holidays awaken the past.
The smells, the food, the house, the rituals — they can all act as trauma reminders.
Your nervous system doesn’t know it’s “just Thanksgiving.”
It knows the pattern of pain, fear, conflict, or neglect.
If you’re a trauma survivor, this day can feel like your body is walking into a battlefield your mind doesn’t want to revisit.
And when toxic family dynamics are part of your story, the monsters tend to show up uninvited.
Give Yourself Permission to Feel Your Thanksgiving Stress
You don’t have to force gratitude.
You don’t have to pretend.
You don’t have to be “positive.”
If you’re carrying Thanksgiving stress, anxiety, dread, or grief — your body is responding to something real.
Say to yourself:
“It makes sense that I feel this way.”
No judgment.
No shame.
Just truth.
Set Boundaries to Protect Yourself from Toxic Family Dynamics
If you grew up in chaos, criticism, emotional abuse, or being the family scapegoat, then Thanksgiving may feel like a minefield.
Setting boundaries is not disrespect.
It’s self-respect.
Examples you can use:
“I’m not discussing that today.”
“Let’s change the topic.”
“That’s not something I’m comfortable engaging with.”
Boundaries protect you from toxic family dynamics, holiday guilt trips, and emotional ambushes.
Create Your Own Version of a Safe Thanksgiving
Your holiday does not have to look like anyone else’s.
You can make a safe Thanksgiving that doesn’t retraumatize you:
Cook something simple
Order takeout
Eat in peace
Stay home
Go to the beach or mountains
Do something quiet and grounding
Go for a drive with your favorite playlist
Create a ritual of your own
Your version is valid.
Holidays do not require self-betrayal.
Plan an Exit Strategy to Reduce Holiday Anxiety
One of the biggest causes of holiday anxiety is feeling trapped.
Give yourself an escape route:
Drive your own car
Stay in a hotel instead of family’s house
Step outside when overstimulated
Leave early if the energy shifts
Take a walk to reset your nervous system
You’re not being dramatic.
You’re practicing nervous system regulation during a high-trigger day.
If You’re Spending Thanksgiving Alone
This does NOT mean you’re unwanted, broken, or forgotten.
People who feel alone at Thanksgiving often carry a quiet kind of pain — but loneliness does not define your worth.
Try:
Making something small but meaningful
Messaging someone you trust
Creating your own ritual
Watching a comfort movie
Lighting a candle for someone you miss
Journaling through the heaviness
Letting yourself rest
Check out these other resources
Feeling alone on Thanksgiving does not make you less human.
It makes you human.
If Thanksgiving Brings Up Old Trauma
Trauma has a calendar of its own.
And sometimes Thanksgiving brings up old trauma more than any other day.
Be gentle with yourself:
Your triggers are valid
Your responses make sense
Your body remembers what your mind survived
“Why Thanksgiving is hard for trauma survivors” is not a mystery — your body is trying to protect you.”
Grounding Tools to Calm Thanksgiving Anxiety
These tools help regulate your system when Thanksgiving anxiety spikes:
1. Cold temperature:
Hold ice, splash water on your face, or use a cold drink to bring your body back down.
2. The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method
This interrupts spiraling thoughts and holiday stress.
5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
3. Deep breathing (4 sec. in, hold 4 sec, 4 sec out, hold 4 sec)
Long exhale = panic reducer.
4. Movement
Walk. Stretch. Roll your shoulders. Unclench your jaw.
5. Self-talk that stabilizes you:
“This is a trigger.
This is not today.
I am safe right now.”
Who You Can Reach Out To When Thanksgiving Feels Heavy
You don’t need 10 people.
You don’t need a “tribe.”
You need one safe person — friend, partner, therapist, coworker, anyone who doesn’t make you feel smaller.
Text something simple:
“Hey… today is rough. Can I check in with you later?”
Connection is regulation.
You Don’t Have to Survive Thanksgiving Alone
If you’re crawling through the day, exhausted from the weight of it — hear this clearly:
You are not weak.
You are not broken.
You are surviving something your body has every right to fear.
Thanksgiving isn’t about pretending everything’s fine.
Sometimes it’s about making it through the next hour.
You are allowed to take this day one breath at a time.
If You Need Support — I’m Here
If Thanksgiving stress, holiday triggers, or toxic family dynamics are hitting hard, I have immediate availability and would be honored to support you.
If you need:
grounding tools
a place to process
a person to vent to without judgement
trauma-informed support
someone who understands
someone who doesn’t sugarcoat
someone who actually gets holiday overwhelm and sadness
Reach out when you’re ready. I’m here.
